Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
