I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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