Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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