woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Sext me about skeletons
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
