The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
