i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I don't deserve a penis
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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