im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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