what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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