Soap is not a condiment
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
