But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
