pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
nutella sex= disaster
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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