Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
