dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I intend to get homeless drunk
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
