my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
So apparently I’m into choking now
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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