There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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