We won't sleep together?
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
