then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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