Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
