your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I just found puke in my bra..
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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