I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
