Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me

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(613): View more from Ontario

I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.

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(909): View more from California

I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm

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(208): View more from Idaho

The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.

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(954): View more from Florida

You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.

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(917): View more from New York City

Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up

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