Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
