All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
