The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i just had sex bonerless
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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