You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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