Do you still have your period?
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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