I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
