I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
