She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
