Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
