That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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