He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
it's like iHOP with fire
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
