your thong is hanging out like whoa
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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