so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
