Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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