I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
