So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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