I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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