did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
