margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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