he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I look better un-naked...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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