hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
