omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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