Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
