Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
