well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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