i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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