just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
What happened to fro yo and sex?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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