So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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