I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
